Finally!

It happened! I have been waiting since May for  Ryan to come see me in a dream. I felt like it would be his way of checking in and letting me know that he was ok...well he hadn't felt the need to pop in until Monday night.  The more I think about it...I don't quite recall actually seeing him, so honestly, I don't know if I can count my dream as having him in it but I felt it.

...

I was wandering through the city and I was so lost. I couldn't get to where I was going and every time I looked up I was outside of Sloan Kettering.  I would walk for "hours" and no matter which direction I went or who I asked for directions I would be outside the hospital where Ryan died. It was weird.

Like I said, I don't remember seeing Ryan, but he is the only connection I have to the hospital, so really...I don't know what else to take from the dream other than, Ryan is nearby and he's ok. Who knows? I was happy about it. I woke up feeling good about the dream despite the inner turmoil that was portrayed through being lost. Ryan has been gone 5 months and not a day goes by that I don't see a butterfly and think of him.  I feel so blessed to know that he's with me.

As Halloween approaches, Matt and I have a great couples costume coming your way! Stay tuned :)

Keep at it

I've been missing Ryan a lot this week.  I am sure it has everything to do with his and Megan's wedding anniversary approaching and the memories I have of the happiness surrounding this time in our lives liast year.  Is that weird? I feel so weird...like I'm not supposed to be missing him, or that I'm missing him too much. I dunno.

On a lighter note, Mom and Dad are visiting this weekend and we will be spending Saturday night with them, going to dinner...maybe a show. Who knows.  I want to make an effort to write more...so here's a toast to trying!